Living In the 00's
You know you're living in the 00's when:
- You try to enter your password on the microwave.
- You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
- You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
- You e-mail your buddy who works at the desk next to you.
- Your reason for not staying in touch with friends is that they do
not have e-mail addresses.
- When you go home after a long day at work you still answer the
phone
in
a business manner.
- When you make phone calls from home, you accidentally insert a "0"
to
get an outside line.
- You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three
different companies.
- Your company's welcome sign is attached with Velcro.
- Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket.
- You learn about your redundancy on the 11 o'clock news.
- Your biggest loss from a system crash was when you lost all of your
best jokes.
- Your supervisor doesn't have the ability to do your job.
- Contractors outnumber permanent staff and are more likely to get
long-service awards.
- Board members salaries are higher than all the Third World
countries
annual budgets combined.
- Interviewees, despite not having the relevant knowledge or
experience,
terminate the interview when told of the starting salary.
- Free food left over from meetings is your staple diet.
- Your supervisor gets a brand-new state-of-the-art laptop with all
the
latest features, while you have time to go for lunch while yours boots
up.
- Being sick is defined as you can't walk or you're in hospital.
- There's no money in the budget for the five permanent staff your
department desperately needs, but they can afford four full-time
management
consultants advising your boss's boss on strategy.
- Your relatives and family describe your job as "works with
computers".
AND THE CLINCHERS ARE...
- You read this entire list, and kept nodding and smiling.
- As you read this list, you think about forwarding it to your
"friends"
- It crosses your mind that your jokes group may have seen this list
already, but you don't have time to check so you forward it anyway.
- You got this email from a friend that never talks to you anymore,
except to send you jokes from the net.
- This email has 20 different disclaimer notes at the bottom, telling
you
that the information is confidential, but you forward
anyway.
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